


One-upsmanship

by PFDiva



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 23:02:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things did not go the way Dave planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One-upsmanship

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this comic](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6kjpuximH1r3hfyao1_1280.jpg), which I'd really like to have a source for.

You watch your little brother and his boyfriend slowly have a breakdown over the fact that A) Robert Egbert is sexual and B) Robert Egbert is sexual with YOU.

It's so fucking hilarious.

Both of them are red as Dave's sleeves, and while Dave is trying to be cool about how much this is freaking him out, John is very loudly having a meltdown.  It involves him clutching his head and saying "No" a lot, like he thinks that will make it not true.

Rob has given up on the staring contest with Dave's shades.

He's clearly won that.

He's currently trying to calm John down and explain that he's bisexual and why he's into you and all that bullshit.

You don't care.

You're busy watching Dave try and fail to regain his composure.  You are grinning at his stupid face like a maniac and generally being as unhelpful as you can possibly be.

Always make sure you've got the upper hand if you're trying to one-up somebody, kiddo.

You know why he's so surprised.

He looks up to you.

He thinks you're super cool.

He also somehow thinks it makes you less cool and less of a man that you've had soft, squishy Egbert on top of you, fucking you into oblivion.

(Egbert doesn't spend as much time working out as you do, and John had to get his cute pudginess from SOMEWHERE.)

Dave has finally managed to pull himself together, and you can see on his face what he's about to ask.

"So...Bro...did he really...."

"Apparently, I'm a screamer.  I made him a whole song."

Dave is done and dusted.  He looks like his face is gonna explode, he's so red.  He can't even look you in the eyes anymore.

You knew you were a screamer, because you are Very Appreciative of your lovers, but Rob apparently Really Fucking Likes It.  Being the musical genius you are, you made him a mix track, which he masturbates to when he can't get to you.

And sometimes when he CAN get to you.

Which is ridiculously hot.

Actually, you've made him seven songs, but Dave doesn't need to know that.

You predict children-free time for lots of sexing in the near future.

Either that, or a dry spell filled with the cockblocks of Dave's shattered ego and John's horrified shame.

Totally worth it.


End file.
